Is There a Connection between Grief and Resilience?
Posted by: Erin Ward in Grief Articles | July 6, 2021
We're sure you've heard this quote from the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Over the years, many grieving individuals have found the truth within his words: while it sometimes feels as if you'll die from the emotional, psychological and physical effects of grief, there is the potential for self-growth within the experience of bereavement. Here we look at the relationship between grieving and the development of greater resilience.
What is Resilience?
According to the American Psychological Association, the word 'resilience' describes the ability to successfully adapt to living in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress. When you're a resilient person (and—to one degree or another—most people are); your behaviors, thoughts, and actions help you to bounce back when hardships occur.
If resilience isn't one of your natural characteristics, it's good to know resilience can be learned—and bereavement can be a fine teacher—if the 'student' is willing to do the work. The considerable distress of grief can, just as in the creation of tempered steel, reshape and refine one's character; helping a person to become stronger than he or she was before—when you actively do the work of grieving. (Read How to Manage the Effects of Grief and Stress to learn more about grief work and the four tasks of mourning.)
Many experts agree; for example, American researcher Mark Seery spoke of this hidden benefit to grieving: I really look at this as being a silver lining. Just because something bad has happened to someone doesn't mean they're doomed to be damaged from that point on (Source: Daily Mail). And in Grief: The Journey from Suffering to Resilience, Dr. William Doverspike wrote of the life-altering process of bereavement: One never really returns to his or her former self. Instead, one incorporates the experience into what eventually becomes a new self. Reaching resolution requires working through grief, which takes time.
Grief and Resilience
So there is a connection between the two; as Dr. Doverspike wrote, Working through...grief can eventually lead to the positive outcomes of recovery, resolution, and resilience. While these positive outcomes are best achieved when you have caring and supportive relationships within and outside the family', it's also necessary to learn to:
Avoid seeing this crisis, the death of a loved one, as an insurmountable problem. Instead, as the American Psychological Association noted, you should try looking beyond the present to how future circumstances may be a little better. (They also advise taking note of any subtle ways in which you might already feel somewhat better as you deal with difficult situations.)
Set small, realistic goals and steadily move toward them. Each morning, ask yourself what's the one thing I know I can do today to help move me through my grief? It could be anything; even something as small as calling a friend, eating a nourishing meal, or writing in a journal.
Look for opportunities for self-discovery. This is an opportunity to learn something new about you. Many people who have experienced tragedies and hardship have reported... (a) greater sense of strength even while feeling vulnerable, increased sense of self-worth, a more developed spirituality and heightened appreciation for life. (Source: American Psychological Association)
Your bereavement is a very personal, very unique experience. While you can talk to, and learn from, others; the key to fostering resilience from your grief is to identify ways that are likely to work well for you and incorporate them into a strategic reaction to the death of your loved one.
Online Sources: Nelson, Fred, Grief Work, Canadian Virtual Hospice, accessed September, 2016Hibbert, Christina, How Do I Grieve?: Grief Work and TEARS, Dr. Christina Hibbert, 2010Coping with Loss: Bereavement and Grief, Mental Health America, accessed September, 2016Doverspike, William, Grief: The Journey from Suffering to Resilience, Georgia Psychological Association, accessed September, 2016American Psychological Association, The Road to Resilience, accessed September, 2016Daily Mail, So Nietzsche WAS right: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, scientists find, Daily Mail, updated December 19, 2011Recommended Reading: Bonanno, George, The Other Side of Sadness: What the New Science of Bereavement Tells Us about Life after Loss, Basic Books, 2009
43 Comments
Dog Escape
July 23
Reading that grief reshapes character like tempered steel during my coffee break really struck me; it makes reaction time to personal crises feel less about speed and more about this gradual, strategic adaptation the article describes.
Block Puzzle
July 23
Reading that grief can reshape character like tempered steel made me pause during my coffee break; it's a heavy but hopeful idea. It's funny, I usually play magic tiles 3 to unwind, but this article's take on setting small, realistic goals for resilience really stuck with me - maybe I'll apply that to my daily grind too, huh?
Tekken 3 Online
July 23
Reading that grief can reshape character like tempered steel made me pause during my coffee break; it's a heavy but hopeful idea. It's funny, I usually check a numerology calculator for fun insights, but this article's take on resilience being learnable through small steps, like writing in a journal, feels more grounded for tough days, doesn't it?
Tekken 3 Online
July 23
It's funny, I was just idly browsing a life path number calculator earlier
Snooker Club147
June 18
The best snooker club in Chandigarh
aticoexport
June 18
Atico export is Top Engineering Lab Equipment manufacturer in Kenya and provide bulk order on order. Visit: Engineering Lab Equipment manufacturerOur official website www.aticoexport.com
aticoexport
June 18
Atico export is Top Civil Engineering Lab Equipment manufacturer in Kenya and provide bulk order on order. Visit: Civil Engineering Lab Equipment manufacturer official website named as www.aticoexport.com
helena89
June 10
This article highlights an important idea: resilience doesn't mean avoiding grief, but learning how to move forward while carrying it. Everyone's journey is different, and it's encouraging to see a wacky flip discussion that acknowledges both the pain of loss and the possibility of personal growth over time.
Splunko Drip
April 21
I was looking for underrated indie games and found kingdom of marionettes, and it honestly looks like a project with real personality.
Splunko Drip
April 21
Anyone interested in trying something colorful and light should give Splunko Drip a chance because it has a very approachable and entertaining feel.
hoope
April 6
Need to turn notes into a polished eBook? Use this tool to convert md to pdf . It compiles multiple Markdown chapters seamlessly, with perfect typography and page break control. The output quality is consistently superb.
Jordanoo
April 5
Para los fanáticos de las artes marciales, las apuestas ufc chile ofrecen emoción y oportunidades de ganar. Permiten seguir combates en tiempo real, analizar estadísticas de los luchadores y planificar estrategias, haciendo que cada pelea sea más intensa y emocionante desde cualquier dispositivo.
apuestas ufc chile
admin
April 2
Origin merupakan platform distribusi game digital yang dikembangkan oleh Electronic Arts. Platform ini menjadi tempat resmi untuk membeli dan mengunduh berbagai game yang diterbitkan oleh Electronic Arts.
Di Origin, pemain dapat menemukan berbagai game populer seperti seri Battlefield, The Sims, Need for Speed, hingga FIFA. Selain itu, Origin juga menawarkan layanan berlangganan yang memungkinkan pemain mengakses berbagai koleksi game EA dengan biaya bulanan. Dengan fitur update otomatis dan cloud save, Origin memberikan pengalaman bermain yang praktis bagi para gamer PC. game pc download .
Pomodoro Time
March 29
For students, this Pomodoro Timer 2026 turns dense material into focused 25-minute review sessions. The better pacing leads to stronger recall and way less overwhelm. The well-timed breaks are key for maintaining concentration during long study periods.
Pomodoro Time
March 29
For students, this Pomodoro Timer 2026 turns dense material into focused 25-minute review sessions. The better pacing leads to stronger recall and way less overwhelm. The well-timed breaks are key for maintaining concentration during long study periods.
Pomodoro Time
March 25
Earnhardt Jr. is my speed demon in kart bros io 2026 io for tracks like Mountain and Desert. The character performance breakdown from Kart Bros sources confirmed he's best for maintaining high velocity. Matching kart to track strategy really works!
Pomodoro Time
March 25
Experience the thrill of being a legend. In basketball stars you can play as icons like Curry or LeBron, each with unique special abilities like a mega dunk. Choose your star, charge your SuperShot meter (Z key), and execute unstoppable moves to win.
marktuan
March 12
This is such an insightful read! I remember after my dad passed, I found watching sports games helped me cope. Cheering for a team gave me a brief escape and some joy even amid the grief. It’s interesting how resilience can emerge in unexpected places, like through shared memories over sports games!